The Most Frustrating Job Interview EVER

[by Nancy] I know, I know... I'm supposed to be talking about MOVIE marketing, not TV. But I can't just let this one sit out there without comment. And besides, in this case, "It's not TV, it's HBO."

Two weeks ago, just when the doldrums of summer were beginning to set in, the new season of "Entourage" began. Curious to see what was going on with my favorite crew of Hollywood layabouts, I investigated the website. I was hoping for a new blog written by Lloyd, the long-suffering (and surprisingly steadfast) assistant to Jeremy Piven's blustering Ari Gold, talent agent extraordinaire.

Alas, there is no Lloyd-blog (and too bad! I love it when oddball characters get their own forums for online discussion -- I think it is a brilliant way to further showcase excellent writers while building a community around a show). HOWEVER, I was interested to see that HBO had put together an apropos interactive Flash game featuring Ari. Since I've had my share of interviews with prospective employers recently, I was even more intrigued to discover that the game was, in fact, a faux-job-interview with Ari. As the user, you play the applicant, while Ari subjects you to his distinctive...well...charm. Figuring that no real-world job interview could ever approach the potential browbeating I was likely to receive from this particular fictional talent-agent, I signed in and eagerly awaited Ari's merciless grilling.

Here's the problem: The thing timed out, so Ari hiccupped. He hiccupped and had little seizures and stopped completely in the midst of sentences. First, I figured my home wi-fi was running a little slowly, so I moved to a more reliable location and tested Ari again. No luck. Then I moved on and tried again. Then I downloaded the most recent version of Flash and checked to make sure my browser was up-to-date. I even borrowed a couple of different computers to see if my particular setup was the problem. Still awful. So I called in some friends and had them try the interview on their computers. They experienced the same frustrating result.

HBO, Ari is sick, and I'd like you to fix him, please.

If the game featured almost any other character from the TV universe, this would merely be an annoying instance of a good idea that suffered from bad execution. I could get over it and move on with my life. This is Ari, though. Ari Gold, people, whose rapid-fire, staccato delivery of off-color sales pitches, come-ons, wheedles, diatribes, threats, explosive vitriol, and sleazy soliloquies would exhaust an auctioneer and make a whore blush. His tornadic tongue-lashings are the very best part of "Entourage," the flights of linguistic fancy that keep audiences coming back to watch week after week. HBO rightly tried to tap into that energy with this viral piece, but the rampant glitches strip away the very thing that is most fascinating about the character. Rather than motivating me to a) email the interview to friends, or b) actually watch the show, all I want to do is scream (and certainly not complete the interview itself -- the whole thing is just too depressing).

And listen, I realize that on some people's computers Ari probably conducts his intimidating job interview just fine, without a hitch. But those people who get a defective Ari aren't going to stick around long enough to figure out what sorts of tech configurations they need to have to make him shout at them properly. I get it that interactive designers/programmers must often walk a fine line between creating cutting-edge work that captures the attention of taste-makers and producing something that will be accessible to the widest possible audience. But I have a new system (bought in the last year) running up-to-date software. The Subservient Chicken will drink a beer or boogie around the room when I tell it to, so why can't I get Ari to yell at me?

Yesterday I mustered some strength (and a glass of wine) and sat down with Ari yet again. For the sake of research, I made myself ignore the hiccups, seizures, and all-out stoppages to reach the end of the interview. And even though Ari wasn't quite as evil and I'd expected him to be (which could be classified as another problem -- watered-down Ari is not nearly as fun), I could tell that the game would have been diverting enough to play more than once if it were working properly. Fortunately, I didn't need to play again. Ari hired me.

Comments

[Paul McEnany]

It did seem really lazy, and kind of like someone who didn't usually write Ari, tried to write Ari.

It didn't feel like the show really got behind the viral effort, like, say, Lost and it's interactive effort.

[Zaid]

That hurt! Nothing like getting a great idea and screwing up the implementation.

Come on Ari! Where is the nauseatingly fast speaking you. Where are you mo** curses. Come on. I would rather you not speak than give up the man we love!

-Zaid

[Todd Copilevitz]

Nancy, you owe it to yourself to go check out Keeping Up With the Steins. Jeremy Piven plays much the same role, only this time it's from the family perspective.

Great flick, even for those who haven't gone through the hell of a bar mitzvah.

[Nancy Fallen]

YES! This film has been on my list for some time -- thanks for reminding me.

I'm going this weekend, and I'll even drag Sunni along with me!